Why I want my own doggie...
i've wanted my own doggie ever since forever. But of late its become an obsession. i've absolutely been pining for a furry companion to call my own.
I know when it happened. After granny passed on. I was left with a strange sense of emptiness. Somewhere along the line, i got to thinking a doggy friend might fill the gap. I love company. But I also like solitude at times. I pictured myself walking my dog, in the morning, in the evening, at night. Any time really, it was always soothing and fun. He was taking a walk with me, not because he needed to, but because I liked to. I pictured myself sitting in my room, the music playing softly. My dog was sitting with me, and i was lost in thoughts, all the while absentmindly stroking his soft fur. I didn't realize he was there with me, but I was glad he was there. I imagined a time where i felt all alone and didn't have any words at all, so i couldn't talk to anyone. I saw my doggie gazing at me with its soft brown eyes, and i knew that I really didn't need any words at all. I saw myself crying and huddling in a corner, i wanted comfort but i didn't think anyone could understand. I heard a soft patter of paws, my doggie gave a soft whimper and nozzled his head into my face. I cried harder and he sat himself beside me to lick my hand. I was comforted.
In my head i see me and my doggie in moments of solitude. A loyal companion, unselfish, loving, giving, understanding. He shares my joy with wags of his playful tail. He shares my woes by comforting me. But there is so much more...
God showed me in my quiet time today why i wanted a doggie. I wanted all these things. Yet, He is willing to be and has always been all these to me. I was looking for a perfect companion in the wrong places. He is so much more than that. I was ashamed that i had forgotten Jesus was my perfect friend and yearned for solitude elsewhere.
I know now i shouldn't have a dog just because I want to seek refuge and comfort. God, help me to befriend you once more, you are the perfect shoulder for me to lean on.
And yet... the little doggie remains in the corner of my mind. You might be curious to know how he looks like. He's a golden retriever. He's name is Trevor, he sometimes comes when i call out "Trev". He has the softest fur and i absolutely love him.
Perhaps one day, Trev will find a home outside of my head..
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